You’ve just celebrated Holi, which means that as soon as you stepped out of the house, numerous people, including the watchman who secretly hates you because you don’t seem to understand that his job involves six hours of sleeping, leapt toward you in a haze of magenta and green with the banal, ‘Madam, bura na maano Holi hai.’
If that wasn’t bad enough, some strange creature probably rubbed your face with that very special oil colour so that you have to spend the next week trying to match pinstriped office shirts to the iridescent blue on your left cheek.
Of course things get really ugly when people trade balloons for tomatoes and eggs. An eye for an eye is a famous idiom, but an unfortunate relative ended up with an eye for an egg after such an exchange a few years ago.
Colour, water, balloons, harassing strangers, all these are quintessentially Holi but there is another ingredient which makes it a truly high-ranking holiday, and that is bhang.
Two years ago, we spent the festival of colours at a cousin’s house up in the mountains. Her mother, while chomping on kachoris, was trying to explain the rituals around Holi to her American guest, ‘Mind-altering substances are very much part of our Indian culture, how else do you think the ancient rishis dreamed up all our 3,300 Gods if it wasn’t with the help of some good old bhang?’
‘But what is this ‘bang?’ he asked.
‘Not bang,’ said Aunty, ‘though it does give you a big bang for your buck! Bhang is a drink made with almonds, rose, milk and cream.’
‘Oh that sounds delicious!’
And Aunty chortled, ‘Yes and the main ingredient is cannabis leaf!’
Despite the copious amounts of bhang that our systems will process this weekend, the fact remains that cannabis is still illegal in India. Which brings us to the mystery of why we don’t end up in jail with our balam pichkaris in tow.
Well, there is a legal loophole, states an article in the Wall Street Journal, going on to explain that though it is illegal to grow the cannabis plant and consume certain parts of it, namely the resin and the flowers, the leaves can be harvested from the wild. I do think you have to be slightly bombed to understand how that actually makes any sense.
Though sometimes I do have vague dreams about moving to Goa and becoming a pothead at the ripe old age of 70, at this point, I am a mere Potterhead preferring Rowling to rolling. ‘I like the neurotic me. I won’t recognise myself if I get stoned and all calm,’ I said to a dear friend, who retorted, ‘And do you recognise yourself when you use the other “legal” drug, alcohol? Haven’t you heard that quote by South Africa’s Julius Malema, “I have seen a lot of people smoke it, and read and not have any problems. But I have never seen people drink alcohol and read books afterwards”.’
I replied, ‘Fair point, but listen at least stop growing it on your farm buddy, otherwise your picture will soon be neatly framed at Panvel police station.’
‘Arre, no incriminating evidence left now,’ he laughed, going on to explain that a goat ate all his cannabis plants last week and then promptly dropped dead. ‘It’s not because of weed but greed,’ he insisted, looking at my alarmed face. ‘If you eat three family packs of ice-cream and then get diarrhoea should I blame Baskin Robbins or your gluttony? But you are right, growing it is a pain, you know, abroad there are online suppliers like Ganja Express which are happy to drop off a box of weed at your doorstep,’ he sighed.
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘For you, the grass is definitely greener on the other side.’
Illustration credit: Chad Crowe
Medicinal use of marijuana is lawful in many countries with sales in the US touching nearly $10 billion last year. And even our own home-grown Baba Ramdev thinks cannabis should be legalised in India. At a recent TedX event, Patanjali CEO Acharya Balkrishna stated, ‘Research is already on. It has been found that much of it is good for health. But, toxic parts, like THC, need to be removed from cannabis oil.’
Cannabis has been called ‘the penicillin’ of Ayurvedic medicine but it also has the support of conventional medical practitioners. Oncologist Dr Vishal Rao told this very paper, “We are encouraging cultivation of tobacco that causes various types of cancer. But, we are ignoring the medicinal properties of a plant that can help cancer patients.”
Legalising medicinal marijuana may perhaps be worthwhile. Aside from the fact that it will make Patanjali a few more billions, there are numerous studies on PubMed that show all sorts of benefits, from alleviating nausea to shrinking tumours.
I never thought that that I would be on the same page as Baba Ramdev but then I guess neither did the young Priya Varrier before there were a hundred memes comparing her famous wink to the godman’s.
Acha, now I’m off. It’s time for me to pop two Crocins and try and get over my bhangover while scrubbing Rang Barse firmly out of my ears.
Perched on the ledge of his hotel room window with a view of chaotic Mumbai streets, this 44-year-old singer, songwriter, producer and fashion designer has a curious ability to not age - both musically and physically. He's a man of few airs and fewer words, though 'few' for Pharrell Williams is an acronym that defines his priorities, which right now are about embracing Holi . The 10-time Grammy winner is in India to launch a collection inspired by the festival. Mohua Das chats with the man who gave the world a Happy high.Yes, I've seen some of those videos, they were mindblowing... I was honoured. I don't really have any plans. I will be going to Delhi and I'm just open to experiencing things. I'm not as controlled as I used to be. To come here and obsess only about the sitar, for instance, would be restrictive. There's a river that I gotta go see, which I couldn't if I had an edited schedule. There's so much more than what we can imagine, right? And here there is so much going on - 1.3 billion people, which means 1.3 billion ideas. All that is super exciting to me - the deities, hundreds of them and what they represent - the stories that come with it that people here consider to be fact is very intriguing for me. It's a whole other world... 1.3 billion points of difference all nestled in one country.I'd seen photos in National Geographic magazines back in the day, and in documentaries. The festival signifies happiness. The whole notion of happiness and people expressing their glee for what is to come, but at the same time giving respect to their past is a beautiful thing. The Hu Holi line tells the story of the festival, and gives visibility to it around the world.It's about three things - how you feel when you wake up, where you're going and what the weather is going to be like. That's what informs my fashion daily. And maybe a couple of times a year, I change my silhouette. I don't know why but there's just a moment when I'm like (snaps his fingers) 'oh, okay... on to the next'. I'm just chasing a feeling and I know when I'm done. It's like when you apply salt or pepper to your food, you don't know if it's 30 crystals or 300. You just know when to stop. That's what getting dressed means to me.I don't feel required to do this as an artiste but by the universe that has done so much for me. I've been doing what I love to do for so long that I owe it to the universe. I feel like I have to pay it forward and contribute to it in a positive way. I don't see myself imposing my views on other people so I find ways to entertain and shove education or encouragement into it in a way that you can't detect it. So, it never feels like a lesson or you're being preached to or a grandiose declaration.The acronym for that is FEW - family, entertainment and work. So I have only a 'few' things to do.To be keeping up with the times would mean you're taking a break and need to catch up. But if you're running and love the run, you might be leading the times.
Bravo SpiceJet. You brought colour into your passengers’ lives. A little masti, a little dhamaka..if we all follow… https://t.co/qeR48N25TQ — anand mahindra (@anandmahindra) 1519980962000
NEW DELHI: Passengers flying on the day of Holi were not deprived of festivities, as airlines ensured that flights remain special for them. While SpiceJet celebrated with music show at the Delhi airport, IndiGo celebrated it by putting colours with passengers. Vistara , an airline venture Tatas and Singapore Airlines, celebrated it by offering special Holi meal on flights.“There was a splash of red, green and yellow at Delhi’s T-1D as travellers tapped their feet to Bhangra beats and swayed to tub-thumping tunes from top artists DJ Bally Sagoo and Punjabi Singer Jazz Dhami,” SpiceJet said in a release.SpiceJet’s crew and employees danced to Bollywood number of ‘Balam Pichkari’.“SpiceJet’s employees along with the dance group Urban Singh put up a terrific dance show that had the audience floored as they joined the celebrations with equal zeal,” said the release.Interestingly, the dance item on a particular Bollywood song on the day of Holi was started by SpiceJet, when Sanjiv Kapoor - who has now moved to Vistara as chief commercial and strategy officer- was head of SpiceJet.It created a little controversy then, as the crew danced to the number, when the flight was cruising leading to the safety regulator Directorate General of Civil Aviation (DGCA) raising concerns over it.Mahindra & Mahindra Chairman Anand Mahindra applauded SpiceJet’s initiative on Twitter and said: “Bravo SpiceJet. You brought colour into your passengers’ lives. A little masti, a little dhamaka..if we all follow that example, life will perpetually be colourful—everyday will be Holi,” he said on Twitter.
