Saturday Night Live Saturday Night Live recap Saturday Night Live: time for #TimesUp but sketches sell Jessica Chastain short The show took on the president’s surprisingly clean bill of health as well as the Women’s March, Stormy Daniels and Robert Mueller Saturday Night Live host Jessica Chastain, with musical guest Troye Sivan, left, and Kenan Thompson. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images
Sarah Sanders (Aidy Bryant) is here, and she’s explaining the border wall: “It will be paid for by Mexico, with US taxpayer money”. Then she introduces Dr Ronny Jackson (Beck Bennett), to explain “just how not fat the president is”.
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“The president’s got a rockin’ bod,” he says. “Given the chance I would.”
Questions from the press: “How broke that brain?” says Kate McKinnon, of the president’s cognitive test.
“He passed it with flying colors,” says Dr Johnson. “Almost no hints.
“At his request, we also gave the president a sex exam, and he blew the doors off that sucker … when he was done, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.”
Live from New York! It’s Jessica Chastain.
“This weekend is the one-year anniversary of the Women’s March,” she says, “and everyone knows women never forget an anniversary.”
McKinnon and Cecily Strong join her, wearing #TimesUp and #MeToo T-shirts to sing You Don’t Own Me.
Aidy Bryant brought “p-hats” for everyone but she “can’t say the real word, because it’s just one of those words that only the president can use”.
Next: “Which of the 12 Laurens will he choose to be his bride?” It’s Carhunk, a parody of the Bachelor, with Alex Moffat as the hunk and the women as the Laurens. It’s pretty hard on women who go on The Bachelor. “I’m sorry I cried,” Chastain’s Lauren says more than once.
An amazing parody of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air opening credits is next, with Chris Redd in the Will Smith role and Kenan Thompson as Uncle Phil, saving Will from a scary gang with an enormous gun.
Next, Google Talks. Chastain is the host, Summer, with a chic bob and intense vocal fry, and Alex Moffat is a Berkeley professor. They’re leading a discussion of bullying with an audience. Mikey Day plays a character named Bert Sampson with his hair sprayed bright yellow and sticking straight up. He complains he is being bullied for resembling Bart Simpson.
“That might just be you,” they say.
Why, I wonder, has Chastain so far only played idiots?
Tonight’s game show sketch is creative and relevant! “What Even Matters Anymore?” stars Chastain as the agitated host, presenting things the president has said or done and asking the contestants whether things matter: calling countries shitholes, having affairs with porn stars, firing Robert Mueller. None of them matter any more!
“Judges, do [Republicans] have a conscience?” says Chastain. A loud buzzer: they don’t.
“In our final round,” she says, “you guys write down things you think would matter … and while you’re writing, I’m just going to drink.”
Cecily Strong writes: “Trump punches Pope.”
Kate McKinnon: “He kills Olympics because flags are ‘gay’.”
Kenan Thompson: “Sex tape with Don Jr.”
Chastain: “Fox News would just report that he’s a family man.”
Troye Sivan sings My My My! He looks like he just came in out of a rainstorm, but he dances beautifully.
Facebook Twitter Pinterest Kate McKinnon is Robert Mueller.
“Congratulations to Donald Trump, who managed to keep our government open for almost one year!’ says Colin Jost. It’s Weekend Update. Jost compares the government to production on House of Cards, which kept going when Kevin Spacey got fired: “In that fake government they got rid of the sexual predator president and got a female president instead.”
Jost continues: “This week I got to Google Stormy Daniels on my work computer!”
“The worst part about that Stormy Daniels story is that it was so lame,” Michael Che says. “The craziest thing that we got is that he was spanked with a magazine and he’s afraid of sharks. Well, of course he’s afraid of sharks: the man has the body of a seal.”
Stormy Daniels (Strong) is here!
“You’re kind of an unlikely ally for critics of Donald Trump,” Jost says.
“Things are so bad right now,” she says, “women are trying to figure out how to be empowered by me … guess what America, I’m the hero you deserve right now.”
Che turns to Trump’s tweeted claim that “black unemployment is at an all-time low”. He frowns. “I’m pretty sure before the civil war black unemployment was at, like, zero.”
McKinnon joins as Robert Mueller, and her makeup job – intense contouring, or are those prosthetic cheekbones? – is hilarious enough before she starts speaking.
“You just wait … you’ll see … we’re good. You gotta remember … I have actual footage … I wanna tell you SO bad, I can’t. It’s gonna be fun … the guy didn’t leave me a trail of breadcrumbs, here. He left me … full loaves.’
Next sketch: Jeff Bezos (Kyle Mooney) is talking to Alexa, interviewing cities for the next Amazon HQ. The Bezos impression is quite funny but the sketch isn’t.
Another skit about women being stupid: Heidi Gardner and Chastain are two blondes at a Mexican restaurant who have resolved to be smarter in 2018 but can’t handle ordering two-for-one tacos.
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“I’m like so confused,” Chastain says. They consult an app. The punchline: they’re surgeons! How dare anyone assume otherwise? Ugh.
In the final sketch, Leslie Jones and Chastain are lawyers in a movie. Thompson is their director and he has some notes, drawn from his time performing on The Jeffersons, playing “a tramp”. It’s weak, which is no doubt why it got this final slot.
And that’s Saturday Night! Chastain closes the show in a Time’s Up T-shirt. That’s great, but couldn’t someone have written some sketches for her that laughed with women, not at them?
Tonight, the stars aligned and two-time Academy Award nominee Jessica Chastain hosted Saturday Night Live for the very first time on the one-year anniversary of the Women’s March.
If there’s one thing we all know for certain about the screen titan who’s given us several of the past decade’s most memorable strong-willed and powerful female characters, it’s that she is constitutionally incapable of giving a performance that is less than completely amazing. Well, this evening was no exception, and this was one of the best episodes of a strong season. This was one of those exceptional SNL episodes in which you can feel the host’s personality and influence throughout the proceedings, from beginning to end.
First up tonight was a White House Cold Open. We began with Aidy Bryant‘s always-welcome Sarah Huckabee Sanders informing journalists that the Women’s March today was to celebrate Donald Trump‘s “kick-a#@” first year in office. She then gave the floor to Trump’s doctor (Beck Bennett), whose word choice in discussing the president’s physical health was remarkably unprofessional. After reading off some of Trump’s most noteworthy attributes like his “44-inch Coke bottle waist,” the doctor has come to the conclusion, in his expert medical opinion, that the president has a “rockin’ bod.” He goes a little bit further, but we can’t print any of that.
The journalists ask a few more burning questions (“How broke is that brain?”) while Sanders and the doctor list off further extraordinary facts about the president (he crushed the Tide Pod Challenge) before Pete Davidson breaks the fourth wall as…Pete Davidson.
Next up was Chastain’s concise, meaningful and pitch-perfect monologue. “I’m always cast as a strong, powerful woman,” she said on the Studio 8H stage. “I usually say lines like. ‘Take the shot, dammit.’” I laughed so hard it hurt at her follow-up, about the kinds of roles she doesn’t play: “Daavid!?”(Nailed it!)
She then brought attention to the anniversary of the Women’s March, and the hundreds of thousands of peaceful demonstrators who continued the tradition around the country. Chastain noted that the marchers today were particularly courageous because this flu season is, like, terrible. Kate McKinnon (in a Time’s Up T-shirt) and Cecily Strong (wearing a black tee that said #MeToo) joined Chastain onstage to sing Lesley Gore‘s “You Don’t Own Me.” Bryant wore a P-hat in the audience, while Bennett and Davidson (wearing “The Future is Female” shirts) encouraged men to start “listening.”
“Ladies, we were strong last year and we’ll be even stronger this year,” Chastain said.
The best sketch of the night, perhaps the most distinctly Jessica Chastain moment in the history of network TV, was a game show called What Even Matters Anymore? The title refers to the escalating headlines surrounding Trump and their “consequences”. It quickly becomes apparent the exasperated, white wine-swigging host named “Veronica” played by Chastain is actually… Jessica Chastain. This sketch was high performance art, or maybe it was Chastain being herself; either way, it rocked. McKinnon breaks character and says, “Jessica, you don’t have to do this.”
Yeah, Chastain put as much stormy, implosive power into this game show sketch as she did into Zero Dark Thirty. You could feel her nerve endings through the TV screen here, and what’s more we’ve rarely if ever seen her this loosely playful before. Usually such honors only go to comedians (often to SNL alums), but it’s worth considering she could receive a nomination for Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series once the Primetime Emmys roll around this fall. Few hosting stints leave a mark like this one, and it’s all the more impressive in that it’s her Studio 8H debut.
Also amusing was Google Talk, not least of all because Chastain played an awkward, wishy-washy person who can’t even commit to her own corny jokes. Literally the opposite of Chastain. The central conceit of this sketch is so high-concept and weird that only one person could make it work: Mikey Day. See for yourself.
One of this season’s three newcomers, Chris Redd had his biggest moment of the season so far with this bonkers, ultra-dark spin on Will Smith‘s oh-so-comfortable, oh-so-’90s and oh-so-featherweight Fresh Prince opening rap. This is a distinct voice.
Colin Jost and Michael Che were aces tonight, as usual, ever building a rapport that feels like it could potentially live up to the best of the Weekend Update duos. This is the meanest incarnation of Weekend Update thus far; and as the weeks go by it’s also looking like one of the sharpest and funniest. It took at least two full seasons for this news team to truly take off and soar. Many of tonight’s jokes were, of course, about the government shutdown and Trump’s alleged affair with adult film star Stormy Daniels.
The news desk was stacked with guests tonight: Day and Moffat debuted impersonations of Prince William and Prince Harry. This was silly and delightful, if not as uproariously hysterical as the first time we saw the duo’s Trump Brothers (those fidget spinners!). McKinnon added another heavy-hitter to her dressing room rack of Trump-era political figures: Robert Mueller. It’s really, really hard to imagine McKinnon not winning a third Primetime Emmy this year; if she does this would set a new record for an SNL cast member. The most memorable guest at the news desk tonight was Cecily Strong as Stormy Daniels. This was quite substantial, actually, not just an impression; this was serious character work (and it was funny), one of the evening’s welcome, lingering surprises.
Alex Moffat played a bachelor with the personality of a chipped brick in Car Hunk, a merciless, barbaric, spot-on takedown of dating shows. Everyone onscreen clearly had a blast with this. To steal a phrase: We like this.
Pete Davidson’s “Chad,” a monosyllabic slob who inexplicably drives women wild, returned to tempt Chastain. This is a funny enough character, though after the last appearance or two it’s felt like maybe he’s been close-to-maxed-out for laughs. Well, it was funny tonight, and that’s because of Jessica Chastain. She delivered a romantic monologue of fire and music most actresses could aspire to for maybe their whole careers—and it was for Chad.
Chastain and Heidi Gardner worked splendidly together as two ladies you’ve probably sat close to in a restaurant at some point in your life (Watch here). A few of America’s finest cities fought hard for Amazon’s new headquarters in a bit of pure fun (Watch here).
And in a timely, on-topic bit, Leslie Jones and Chastain play actresses receiving preposterous notes from their director (Kenan Thompson). He’s an expert, you see, because he once appeared on The Jeffersons. In the background.
Musical guest Troye Sivan performed two new songs: My My My! (watch below) and The Good Side (watch here).
The whole cast was in top form tonight. This episode of Saturday Night Live belonged to Chastain; this was her night. In the past, there have been a handful of highly publicized instances of big stars hosting SNL and taking over in an overstepping, driven-by-ego sense. This was not that. Chastain just brought all of herself into her work on tonight’s show, and clearly her creative energy inspired everyone to do their best to keep up. Her tremendous, irresistible presence was all over every bit of tonight’s episode, even when she wasn’t onscreen. She can’t host again soon enough!
Saturday Night Live returns next week January 27 at 11:30 ET with host Will Ferrell and musical guest Chris Stapleton.
Were you as blown away by Jessica Chastain’s SNL debut as we were? Do you think Jost and Che are one of the best Weekend Update pairs ever? Let us know in the comments!
She's never hosted Saturday Night Live before.
But it looks like Jessica Chastain is taking her hosting duties very seriously, as she was seen making her way toward NBC studios on Saturday in NYC.
Though SNL is ostensibly a comedy show, the 40-year-old Zero Dark Thirty star definitely looked quite serious as she walked in her all-black ensemble.
On the march! It looks like Jessica Chastain is taking her SNL hosting duties very seriously, as she was seen making her way toward NBC studios on Saturday in NYC
The Oscar-nominated actress wore a black puffy jacket to ward off the East Coast chill, and appeared to hide another dark garment underneath.
Black leather boots came up to her shins, while coordinating tight black jeans emphasized her lithe legs.
Her trademark fiery tresses were tied up into a tight bun, while she shielded her eyes with a pair of oversize sunglasses.
Fit figure: Black leather boots came up to her shins, while coordinating tight black jeans emphasized her lithe legs
Fresh-faced: The beauty appeared to be mostly makeup free, save for some rose-colored lipstick
The beauty appeared to be mostly makeup free, save for some rose-colored lipstick.
While stars usually arrive via some sort of vehicle, Jessica and her staff apparently had to walk the last few blocks to Rockefeller Center due to barricades put up for the Women's March.
Meanwhile, it seems like Alec Baldwin, who has been playing Donald Trump on the long-running comedy series, skipped most of rehearsal thanks to a trip to the UK.
Special circumstances: While stars usually arrive via some sort of vehicle, Jessica and her staff apparently had to walk the last few blocks to Rockefeller Center due to barricades put up for the Women's March
On Monday, the three-time Golden Globe winner was in London with his 22-year-old daughter Ireland with first wife, Oscar winner Kim Basinger.
Being in England, Baldwin surely missed rehearsals Tuesday for this week's Saturday Night Live with host Jessica Chastain and musical guest Troye Sivan.
The record-breaking 17-time SNL host reportedly signed a contract to impersonate President Donald Trump throughout the 43rd season of the NBC sketch show.
Jessica Chastain celebrated the Women’s March that she had to miss as she hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time.
The Molly’s Game star, 40, sang about the nation-wide street protests in her opening monologue for the famed late night comedy show.
Jessica, wearing black pants, a black satin corset and leather jacket, began her monologue by joking about the kind of roles she normally gets in movies.
Tribute: Jessica Chastain, 40, celebrated the Women’s March that she had to miss as she hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time
'This is something I have wanted to do my whole life but I never get to do stuff like this as I am always cast as a strong, powerful woman,’ she said.
'I usually say lines like ‘Take the shot dammit.' When am I going to get to play a naggy girlfriend and say something like '…David
‘But I am really excited to be here especially this weekend as it is the one year anniversary of the Women’s March, and everyone knows women never forget an anniversary.
’So today hundreds of thousands of people were out there for the cause, and they are so, so brave - as it is the worst flu season ever, God bless them.
Host monologue: Jessica opened the show with a song about women's rights in honor of the Women's March
Guys too: The guys tried to get in on the joke but the ladies kicked them off stage
‘I wish I could have been there marching alongside them.’
Jessica was then joined on stage by Kate McKinnon and Cecily Strong, who were wearing ‘#MeToo’ and ‘Time’s Up’ t-shirts, to sing Lesley Gore’s 1963 anthem ’You Don’t Own Me.’
The women were then joined by Pete Davidson and Beck Bennett who told them that they ‘liked women’ and urging men to start ‘listening.’
Cold open: Sarah Sanders and the White House physician tried to explain Donald Trump's health tests
Fresh parody: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air was parodied in a digital short
A dressed-up Melissa Vellasenor then joined the group.
‘Look I am a feminist but I’m still trying to catch a husband,’ she joked.
‘Ladies we were strong last year and we will be even stronger this year so lets do this damn it,’ said Jessica as the women finished the song in style.
Take down: Jessica is taken down by an angry gang following the Fresh Prince
Bachelor buffoonery: The Bachelor was parodied
Later in the show Prince William and Prince Harry, played by Alex Moffat and Mikey Day, appeared and were asked by Michael Che if Donald Trump had cancelled his UK trip because of their friendship with Barack Obama.
‘Michael we would like to apologize but Williams’s hair was unable to make it this evening,’ said Harry as Williams claimed his ‘Bruce Willis’ haircut had broken the Internet.
‘You look like the British Larry David, thats not good, shave it,’ said charismatic Harry, played by Mikey Day, as posh William compared him to Ron Weasley in Harry Potter.
Apologies: Jessica's character was sorry for having naturally curly hair
William, played by Alex Moffat, then told the audience how Harry’s finance Meghan Markle was ‘on the American program Suits’ as Harry plugged the show for her.
‘Check it out she is amazing,’ said Harry.
‘Right the only difference between that show and this is that people watch this one,’ William shot back.
‘Buckingham Palace does not comment on political matters, thank you and goodbye,’ said William.
‘Thank you and goodbye said William’s hair,’ joked Harry as they play fought.
Bullying: Google Talks did a segment on bullying
Mean kids: One kid was bullied for looking like Bart Simpson
Jessica’s first sketch of the night saw her poking fun at the latest season of the Bachelor and Arie with their own version called ‘Car Hunk.’
Alex Moffat played Arie, while Jessica played one of the 12 contestants called Lauren, and told him she was an inventor who had created Tide Pods.
Each of the women in turn ‘stole’ time with Arie, with Kate McKinnon bringing out a dead squirrel called Buster, and told him that the animal was her first kiss.
Arie then got mounted by Andy Bryant, before Jessica stole in again and tearfully told hi that she ‘actually has curly hair.’
‘Ill walk you out,’ said Arie taking her by the arm and walking of stage.
Game show: A segment called Would It Even Matter was hilarious
Driven to drink: Jessica's character couldnt belive Trump's actions didn't call for more ire
Chris Redd and Leslie Jones then starred in a violent video version of The Fresh Prince, in which Will was on the run from a gang he informed on.
Next Jessica played the host of a Google Talks town hall in which the audience discussed bullying, with Mikey Day claiming he was bullied for looking like Bart Simpson.
‘I love how woke it is in here right now,’ said Jessica as the cast revealed how they had all been bullied.
But the sketch quickly descended into poking fun at the Simpson lookalike, who admitted his name was ‘Burt Sampson.’
Jessica then played Veronica Elders the host of game show ‘What Even Matters Anymore’ where she told the contestants one thing that Donald Trump had said and they had to decide if it mattered anymore.
Sing it: Australian-South African singer-songwriter Troye Sivan, took to the stage and performed ‘My My My!’ and later played ‘The Good Side'
Sensation: Troye is a Youtube sensation
Jessica told them that Trump referred to African countries as ‘poo-poo holes’ and that Haitians had AIDS, which Kate McKinnon told her was ‘really bad and has to matter.’
‘Actually it doesn’t matter, zero consequences and everybody moves on,’ said Jessica.
She then told the contestants that Trump had an alleged affair with a porn star right after Melania gave birth to their son and asked whether that mattered to his evangelical base.
Royal jokes: Prince William and Harry poked fun at each other
Scandal: Cecily Strong then appeared in a blonde wig as Stormy Daniels to talk about her alleged affair with Trump
‘Of course it matters it is against everything they stand for,’ said Kenan Thompson sensibly.
‘You’d think so but no. They say he has just repented and forgive him and Mike pence is like ‘This is my dude.’’
Jessica then asked them about Trump firing Robert Mueller, and was told by Cecily Strong that it had not happened.
Secrets: Kate McKinnon then appeared as Robert Mueller, and was desperate to leak information about the case to the hosts and repeatedly banged the desk ton confirm details of the investigation
Amazon bid: The next sketch featured Jeff Bezos taking pitches from cities hoping to land the new Amazon headquarters
Jessica finally lost her cool completely, shouting ‘Fake news, fake news’ and invited the contestants to write down what they thought would matter as she chugged white wine.
Kenan wrote down he thought that ‘Sex tape with Don Jr’ would ‘tick a lot of boxes.’
‘You would think so but Fox News would just report that he is a family man because nothing truly matters,’ shouted Jessica.
Boston's bid: She introduced Alex Moffat as Casey Affleck who tried to help them promote Boston in a typically understated way and ended up suggesting they move it to Los Angeles where he now lived.
Miami heat: Pitbull offered his assistance
Australian-South African singer-songwriter Troye Sivan, took to the stage and performed ‘My My My!’ and later played ‘The Good Side.’
Colin Jost and Michael Che then took to the Weekend Update desk and wasted no time going after Donald Trump and the government shut-down.
‘Congratulations to Donald Trump, who managed to keep our government open for almost one whole year,’ joked Jost.
‘Trump had blamed minority leader Chuck Schumer for the shut down as Trump never misses an opportunity to blame a minority,’
Confused: Jessica then played a confused woman at a Los Angeles Mexican restaurant who did not understand the dinner special with her friend
Check it: The pair were then forced to break out their mind-game apps to understand their order as it turned out they were surgeons
Cecily Strong then appeared in a blonde wig as Stormy Daniels to talk about her alleged affair with Trump.
‘I am like a liberal hero, even though I am a Republican porn star who loves Sarah Palin,’ she said.
‘I get it that I am not what these people envisioned their hero would look like, but guess what America I am the hero you deserve right now.’
Kate McKinnon then appeared as Robert Mueller, and was desperate to leak information about the case to the hosts and repeatedly banged the desk ton confirm details of the investigation.
‘I am having a blast,’ Mueller told them.
Doctor's orders: Jessica then played a doctor who had fallen in love with patient Chad, played by Pete Davidson
All in: Jessica then began undoing her top before telling Chad to get some sleep and dream about her
‘You know how you love the show Lost but it never really came together and there was no satisfying ending. Well this ain’t Lost,’ she said smiling.
The next sketch featured Jeff Bezos taking pitches from cities hoping to land the new Amazon headquarters.
Jessica played a woman from Boston’s Chamber of Commerce and presented him with Dunkin Donuts coffee and Red Sox tickets.
She introduced Alex Moffat as Casey Affleck who tried to help them promote Boston in a typically understated way and ended up suggesting they move it to Los Angeles where he now lived.
Jessica then played a confused woman at a Los Angeles Mexican restaurant who did not understand the dinner special with her friend.
Check up: She told him she fantasized about him and wanted to jump into bed with him, as he handed her his toilet pan and made crude jokes
Acting coach: In the final sketch of the night Jessica played an actress playing the role of a female lawyer finding out she was paid less than male lawyers at her firm
The pair were then forced to break out their mind-game apps to understand their order as it turned out they were surgeons.
Jessica then played a doctor who had fallen in love with patient Chad, played by Pete Davidson.
She told him she fantasized about him and wanted to jump into bed with him, as he handed her his toilet pan and made crude jokes.
In the final sketch of the night Jessica played an actress playing the role of a female lawyer finding out she was paid less than male lawyers at her firm.
The director, played by Kenan Thompson, then gave her a string of bizarre notes about how she was to perform the part before realizing he was on the wrong set.
Jessica ended the show with her arms around Troye Sivan and wearing a black ’Time’s Up’ t-shirt as she called it ‘one of the best week’s of my life.’
